I’d like to take my story to someplace they do not know me

I’m living in the past once again today. I refuse to believe the best is behind me yet my head often is.

Lately, I feel crazy. Not good, liberating kind of crazy like I’ll spontaneously do something wild but the bad, stifling kind of crazy like my thoughts, actions and feelings are so out of sync that they may never meet up again. All the logic I need is clearly audible inside my head. I can rationally observe and critically think about my life and its goings ons but despite such wondrous skills, my emotions don’t want to get in line with those observations and thoughts. My emotions are gaggle of rebellious teens, empowered by their sheer number and with a single voice they scream“FUCK THE SYSTEM… We’re outta here”. That’s where the crazy comes in. When your brain knows you’re reacting poorly but is powerless to control it.

I’m wrestling back control in little ways. I pick a nemesis each day and beat it down. Yesterday it was cookies, today it will be online shopping, tomorrow it will be…well, we’ll see what tomorrow brings and which nemesis needs facing.