Can’t talk dirty now; my mouthguard is in and I’d have to reheat the water.
(aka: getting dumped at 2:30am).
When a boy thinks you’re trying to trick him when you ask if he’ll whisper dirty stuff in your ear while you get yourself off as he didn’t bother when he fucked you earlier, you know you’ve picked a good one.
When you roll over slightly embarrassed about the situation and try to sleep it off and he rolls with you, snuggles up, holds on tight and then whispers in your ear that he can’t talk dirty NOW because his mouthguard is already in and he’d have to get up to reheat the water to soften it again, you know you’ve picked a winner.
When you recoil from his clutches incredulously but don’t verbally respond to such a retarded excuse and he gets huffy puffy and throws down a “hey, don’t make me feel guilty about this. I can’t turn this on like a light” you know you’re in bed with a total asshole.
When you, without a word, get up and quietly gather everything you have over at his place and try to leave before other words are exchanged and he follows you around, apologizing for not liking you “enough”, you know that you’ve just wasted a lot of time on a total tool.
Just to help the rest of you fellas sidestep this kind of steaming pile of bullshit: I’m NOT a total retard. Sure, I’ll fall face first down some stairs, trip over feets and words, and even take a whole lot of hassle from you but I’m smart enough to know when I’m getting the run-around. No use in flapping your arms and legs or trying to distract me with shiny objects and slippery words. If you can’t walk away without dumbing down the situation, please, let me.
When a boy thinks you’re trying to trick him when you ask if he’ll whisper dirty stuff in your ear while you get yourself off as he didn’t bother when he fucked you earlier, you know you’ve picked a good one.
When you roll over slightly embarrassed about the situation and try to sleep it off and he rolls with you, snuggles up, holds on tight and then whispers in your ear that he can’t talk dirty NOW because his mouthguard is already in and he’d have to get up to reheat the water to soften it again, you know you’ve picked a winner.
When you recoil from his clutches incredulously but don’t verbally respond to such a retarded excuse and he gets huffy puffy and throws down a “hey, don’t make me feel guilty about this. I can’t turn this on like a light” you know you’re in bed with a total asshole.
When you, without a word, get up and quietly gather everything you have over at his place and try to leave before other words are exchanged and he follows you around, apologizing for not liking you “enough”, you know that you’ve just wasted a lot of time on a total tool.
Just to help the rest of you fellas sidestep this kind of steaming pile of bullshit: I’m NOT a total retard. Sure, I’ll fall face first down some stairs, trip over feets and words, and even take a whole lot of hassle from you but I’m smart enough to know when I’m getting the run-around. No use in flapping your arms and legs or trying to distract me with shiny objects and slippery words. If you can’t walk away without dumbing down the situation, please, let me.
posted by Jijifer @ 10:15 AM
1 Comments:
I would talk dirty to you any time you want. Sorry about the dickhead you were dating
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